It really is a balance, you know. In my life and I am sure in yours too, there never seems to be enough time to fit it all in so you have to prioritize your responsibilities and do what you can to sprinkle in the lighter stuff whenever possible. For me, that means that lately this space isn't getting quite as much attention from me. I have wanted to be here. I have wanted to take more photos with my big camera. I have missed creating a record of the all of the great things (and some of the challenging things) that happen in my days.
As I get older, I have become more aware of how far I can push myself, of how much I can ask of myself. I have also become aware of what the consequences will be if and when I push too hard or pack too much in (Spoiler: I get sick and cranky). Time and time again, it has also been made clear to me how linked creativity (by this, I mean the act of creating something) is to my happiness, to my sense of balance and to what makes me feel like myself.
A few years ago, I took a Strengthsfinder assessment at work that put a frame around parts of myself I had never really pinpointed but that are at the core of who I am. I am not usually one to put much stock in inventories or assessments but this one really hit home for me! This assessment identifies your top 5 themes/strengths. My themes were: Achiever, Learner, Input, Responsibility, and Individualization. I've linked to the full explanation but let me do a little synopsis of the most relevant parts of these themes.
Achiever - You measure yourself by what you accomplish every single day of your life.
Learner - You are curious and have a strong desire to continually learn new things and skills.
Input - You like learning so much, you apparently had to get it on your list twice
Responsibility - You are only as good as your word. No excuses.
Individualization - You believe in individuals rather than generalizations and spend a lot of energy observing in attempts to understand each person.
Since the Achiever theme was the real lightbulb one for me, let me share their full explanation:
Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by "every day" you mean every single day -- workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.
Does this come across braggy? That is not my intention. What I am trying to say here is that my head is FULL to bursting with to do lists and projects and obligations nearly all of my waking hours. A little snippet from inside my head for you: I need to make sure I email that person that I said I would and do we have enough toilet paper and it really would be great to learn how to weld someday and I wonder if I forgot to do anything that I said I would get done at work today and wow there sure are a lot of weeds in the garden I can't believe I let it get that bad and it has been way too long since I have gotten together with them did I say I would host next and shouldn't I be making my own yogurt instead of buying it since I know how and it isn't too hard to do and by the way I had better write up that list of things to make for Christmas gifts so I am sure to get it done on time and I wonder what she meant when she said that and this article looks interesting and I should learn more about beekeeping and I really wish I was farther along with that dress because I am excited to wear it....and on and on and on. My brain works really hard to make sure I get a lot done and don't drop any balls in the process. It is really helpful but also demanding. Sometimes you just need a little peace and quiet, you know? I have literally told my own brain to SHUT IT! Thankfully, it is able to obey if the circumstances are right.
For someone who wants to learn, make and experience it all, it feels like there is a cost associated with choices. When you chose one road, there is another road not taken. This makes me a bit sad because it really would be great to feel like one person can do it all. But, well, that is just not possible. On the other hand, you can choose to focus on the joys of what you do get to do! I try to train myself to think that way.
So, in that spirit, I am finding myself migrating towards a new balance when it comes to sharing images and tidbits from my life online. I have been finding that I can use my slivers of time left after I work and take care of my family, my house and myself to learn and make things (and try to relax!) or I can blog. And, well, the other stuff is winning out. That is, except for in one area.
Six months ago I joined Instagram on a whim while riding the bus home. I thought I was going to use it to be a lurker and follow a few people. But, since then, I have found it to be a quick, easy and fun way to send out a little contribution to the worldwide web. It ended up being a slow and gentle segue into sharing small snippets more often there and writing big posts less often here. Don't worry, I am not going to stop blogging, but I am really loving the ease and image-based community on Instagram. If you are on Instagram and want to connect, I am @TrinKnitty
For those that might want to see what I am posting but not join yet another site, I added a little widget to my sidebar. The widget is a slideshow of my pictures. You can click on a picture to see the caption. I am currently only using my camera phone to take and post pictures there so my photography is limited, but you can't beat the ease and seamless nature of that setup.
I should mention, I don't use Twitter, so my social media sphere is pretty targeted (Facebook for friends and family, Goodreads for books, Pinterest for recipes, Ravelry for knitting projects, a Feedly full of favorite bloggers). One of the things that I am loving about Instagram is that it allows me to put my toes in a different stream of content. There are so many beautiful, inspiring, peaceful, exhilarating, clever images coming through my Instagram feed from people that I have no real life connection to.
For example, a few weeks ago, it seemed that a ton of people from different parts of the country (maybe world?) got taken with the same bug: the rope basket bug. And, not surprisingly, it bit me, too! I made a trip to the hardware store to pick up two bundles of rope to give it a try, playing with the methods of starting it, the length of the stitches, the thread color ending strategies and handles.
True to form for an achiever/learner, after my 2 test baskets, I went back to the store and stocked up on ropes of varying size and thicknesses. These are addictive and satisfying to make and the variations are endless! I am having visions of a rug, placements, coasters, stacking bowls, tote bags with leather handles, painted rope, naturally dyed rope, thread color variations, wall hangings...and more! Why am I bothering to list them all out?! Just go check this guy's work out.
I want to end this post by saying that while this all might add up to sound like I am ditching the blog, I am not. What I am hoping to do is feel less responsible about it. It probably won't feel any different for you, but it makes a big difference to me. I want to feel less like I should blog and more like I can blog. From now on, I will pop in here when the mood strikes, time allows and I've got something to say. I won't feel the need to apologize for being away so long and you'll hopefully be happy to see me. Here's to irresponsible blogging and poor camera phone pictures! Hmm. Perhaps it is obvious that marketing is not one of my strengths!
PS If you want to try your hand at making a rope basket, I like this quick tutorial.
PPS In a bit of serendipity, my blog widget that tracks geographic stats crashed and the data for the entire history of this blog was lost. A fitting time to wipe the slate clean, I guess. You might also notice that I reduced the content on the sidebar. The functionality of the blog lists has long been lackluster, so I nixed it. Let me know if there was anyone there you want to still read but can't find them now that I pulled the links. I'd be happy to point you in their direction.
PPPS Thanks for spending some of your precious time reading my words and giving me a place in your life whether we know each other in person or not. I value your presence.
It is always hard to find balance. I actually think you do it quite well. I usually have physical hints that remind me to slow down. I would recommend continuing to listen to your body. That being said, those baskets are beautiful. :)
ReplyDelete