Water Filtering with Activated Charcoal

Thanks for bearing with me while I let the Tchazo post sit front and center on the blog for a while. As we gain more distance from the loss, we are finding our new normal in our much quieter house. I have been doing a lot of cleaning and in doing so I have come to realize that cleaning is my form of burning sage. I went on a cleaning jag when we lost Jack, too and it really seemed to help me. There is something about a good deep clean that resets things and eases transitions for me. Thanks to those who shared words of supports on the post, on facebook, and in real life and to those that kept us in their thoughts. It was a comfort to have our loss recognized and to know that others understand that pets are family members, too. Now, let's shift the focus to something life sustaining, like water!

When I was evaluating what I needed to change after my allergy testing results, I started to research our city water. I found out that as far as municipal water goes, Minneapolis does a great job. There is even a local organization promoting tap water over bottles water, which I totally support. However, I also found out that to meet regulations, the city has to treat the water with chloramines. (I called the treatment center and spoke to a staff person there to verify.) For the ultra-sensitive like myself, this could pose a problem.

After I found that information out, I began to research filtration options that would not introduce other risks/exposures and that had a low cost of entry.  I settled on activated charcoal/carbon as a option that would be easy to implement and well supported in studies (this is what many filters like Britta are made out of).  Sadly, I could not find a way to filter shower water without plastic being involved, so I settled on the simplest activated charcoal filter I could find.  For drinking water, I was able to find an exciting option: Kishu charcoal!  It is a pleasingly minimalist solution:      



In the package I ordered, I got 3 sticks.  I opted for using the smallest one in a drinking glass on my bedside stand, the middle sized one in a small pitcher on the dining table and the largest in a pitcher in the kitchen.

I refresh them every few weeks in boiling water and will eventually need to buy another round after a few months.  But, when that time comes, I can use the sticks in the garden or as a deodorizer in the fridge. Win-win!

As for the taste of the water, it could be a placebo effect, but I love it!  I think it tastes really good! Plus, having a pitcher of room temperature water in plain site has meant I drink more water and that the water I am drinking is at a temperature my acupuncturist would approve of.

In the research I did, I read what the Environmental Protection Agency had to say about links between chloramine and skin issues.  If you would like to read it yourself, it can be found here and here.  You don't have to read it, though, because I can sum it up for you.  This is what I took from it, "We haven't done much research.  Skin issues are complicated.  That said, we haven't been able to prove chloramines are a problem so we are going to assume they are safe."  Well, EPA, you are right that skin issues are complicated, but I am going to make the opposite assumption.  I am going to assume the less chemicals I drink and shower in the better off I will be.  So, I am going with the filters for now.

Two Months In

Well, here I am!  I'm at a benchmark place and feel it is high time I catch you up and share an allergy/health update.  For anyone who might need the back story or want a refresher, you can see my full set of allergy posts here. 

To recap, here a quick summary and timeline of what happened:
mid-June - get really sick with rashes, swelling, itching, exhaustion, pain, swollen lymph nodes and seem to lose the ability to regulate my body temperature
June and July -  try to figure out what is wrong, go to my acupuncturist, my primary care doctor, an allergist, 2 dermatologists, do lots of research on my symptoms, am subjected to lots of testing and appointments and presciption medications that do not help or provide any answers.  have short bouts of seeming to get better only to get much worse again.
August - hit my wall and accept a prescription for oral prednisone.  it provides much relief but no answers.  get on waiting list for an appointment with a contact dermatitis specialty clinic for testing
September to mid-October - taper off of prednisone in preparation for contact allergy testing, symptoms return
mid-October - contact allergy testing
late- October - get results from testing but healing does not begin due to negligence from the doctor

Ok, so I guess that wasn't a "quick" recap!

After getting my test results and subsequently being mislead by my doctor, I decided to do everything in my power to get better and to depend on myself to get there.  I realized that giving myself the best chance at the quickest recovery possible was going to mean that I needed to become an expert STAT!  I needed to understand (and limit/control, when possible) everything I came into contact with because any exposure to an allergen jeopardizes my recovery.  Since I had been continually exposed to my allergens, I was told to expect multiple months of recovery time before my body finds a stable place.

Armed with my list of allergens, I hit the internet.  Google, google, google away!  I learned so much in such a short time!  My biggest challenges included a list of allergens that are seemingly omnipotent and a lack of understandable/accessible information about products. I did a lot of trial and error with products at first.  My allergens are found in nearly every personal hygiene product, laundry, cleaning products and medicines, so I tried a lot of DIY options.  And, as I found out through trial and error, sometimes I react to products that don't contain my allergens.  I think my body has become so sensitized through the months of exposure to allergens that it just can't handle much of anything right now.  By January 2nd, I was done with the trial and error and had developed a set of extremely pared down products that addressed my (extremely!) basic needs.

For the last 2 months, I have exclusively used the following products:

Showering is where I was regularly dosing myself with allergens and thus has undergone the biggest transformation.  My shower stall is bare!  After trying a ton of shampoo/conditioner options including a ton of natural versions, I needed to cut it all out.  I use water.  That's it!  I also installed a shower filter but I am not sure if it is making a difference.  The only products in my shower are Dr. Bronner's Unscented Shaving Gel and a razor that I had to really work to find.  I was not able to find ingredients for the moisturizing strip on my razor blades nor could I find that information out for any of the razor blades on the market.  So, I searched long and hard for a razor and razor cartridge situation that did not involve any strips or soaps or fanciness. I'll be honest, it is not an ideal shaving situation, but it is getting me by.

Ok, so let me go back to my proclamation about my water-only showering strategy.  Crazy, right?  It turns out I am not the only one on this radical boat.  A lot of people are turning to that option for the same reasons I am: medical ones.  But, there are also a lot of people who are switching in order to avoid all of the chemicals and unknowns in the plethora of personal hygiene products on the market.  It isn't easy, though.  It takes a bit of an adjustment before your hair realizes it can chill out on the oil production, but it has been fine after I got past that stage.  There is a ton of info on the internet about water-only washing for hair so I will not spend a lot of time on it here.  Feel free to let me know if you have questions.

Also, I should mention that I have a bar of soap in the shower, but I found it isn't really necessary.  Just scrubbing my body with water seems to have the same result, so I eliminated that from my routine for now, too.

As long as we are on the subject of my "just use water" campaign, I ended up going that route for laundry, too.  I researched the best laundry detergents for people and for the environment and settled on one to switch to.  I tried it out and my body hated it.  Then I switched to baking soda only.  That was worse!  I tried to go back to my original laundry detergent I've used all along, but my skin was still dry and angry.  So, in the spirit of eliminating as many variables as possible, I just use water in the washing machine and these wool balls in the dryer.  We have some laundry detergent around in case there is a really grubby load of (usually dog-related) laundry, but have only had to use a few times and never on my clothes.  

Interesting aside: I have noticed that since I have been almost exclusively wearing plant fibers that static cling hasn't been an issue.  Paul has clothes made of synthetic fabrics and I've noticed his clothes come out of the dryer with static. 

Allright!  Here is the biggie.  This is the set of products that I use to meet my daily needs.  Before all of this allergy stuff, I was an eczema sufferer and I still am, so moisturizing my skin safely is of a top priority.  I was able to keep using my tried and true Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion and have added coconut oil to my routine.

I have stopped using all lip balms and just use Vaseline right now.

As of the end of December, I was able to switch from prescription topical steroids to an over the counter one: Cortizone-10 (the one with no other ingredients except the steroid and petroleum jelly).  Hooray for that!

For hand washing, I have a bar of Dr. Bronner's unscented soap.

I wear contacts and have decided to stick with Opti-Free Pure Moist multi-purpose solution even though it has some proprietary ingredients that I do not fully understand.  I tried alternatives but they made my eyes burn and also had unknowable ingredients.

After many failed homemade versions and some unsatisfying special order toothpastes, I decided on Weleda Salt Toothpaste.  I also have a salt crystal deodorant that I use sporadically.  Apparently, I like salt in all its forms.

Although it is not a product, I included my fine tooth comb in the picture because it has become an essential for me with my water-only shampoo strategy.  It helps to even out the sebum/wax throughout my hair.

You might notice there are a lot of things missing when you compare this to the average American woman's set of toiletries.  No perfume (that wasn't hard for me), no makeup (I miss mascara!), no nail polish (I am allergic to many polishes and to polish remover) and no toner/facewash/scrubs (water only for this, too!).  I wasn't much of a girly girl before this, but I do miss some of the frivolous products.  I tried natural mascara and it was totally crap.  Maybe someday I will reintroduce some of this stuff.  For now, I am just grateful to be comfortable in my own skin.  Literally.  My skin was so uncomfortable that I was totally OK with giving up all of this stuff for the potential of finding comfort in my body again.

Another area that I had to consider was cleaning products for the home and kitchen.  Once again, mostly water being used in this category, too!  We have been making our own vinegar water (sometimes we add essential oil) for cleaning for a long time, so that didn't need to be adjusted.  I changed our dishwasher detergent to Earth Friendly Products Wave soap after doing research on the ingredients and safety of these types of products.  Scary stuff!  We kept the same dish soap we had already been using for handwashing dishes: Seventh Generation Free and Clear.  We also have baking soda for scrubbing and a container of liquid Unscented Dr. Bronner's Soap for tougher cleaning jobs but haven't had to use them so I left them out of the picture.  Its amazing to see how truly little we need to keep around the house when it comes to products!

Ok, here I go...out farther on this limb than I ever thought I would.  I am going to clue you into how these allergies have impacted my sex life.  I wasn't super keen on sharing this part, but I also didn't want to omit this information in case someone else is struggling through the research, finds my blog and this information helps them along.  If you want to skip past this part, go ahead and skim down to the part where I show naked pictures of myself.  Wait!  What has happened to my knitting blog?!

As I was doing my research on each and every thing that comes into contact with my skin, I started to research condoms.  In the process, I talked with the lovely staff at Smitten Kitten and learned that the sex industry has very little to follow in the way of regulations.  This has lead to a real lack of information for consumers.  For instance, all of the condoms at our local Target store are lubricated and not a single one of them tells you what the lubrication is made out of.

We needed to find out what the product we use contains, so we figured we would just email them and ask.  Nope, no email address to be found on the packaging or the website.  How about calling them?  Nope, no contact info listed for that either.  We ended up finding a phone number for the company that owns Trojan, but the number was old and nobody answered it.  The one and only way to make any inquiry was by mailing a letter to the company that owns the company that makes the condoms we used to use.  I didn't even want to go that route since I had a strong suspicion it would be unfruitful.

So, we thought we would work around the problem by getting unlubricated condoms and buying a lubricant for them.  First of all, getting unlubricated condoms takes extra effort and, according to what we found, most brands make these condoms out of a really thick latex.  We eventually found a good solution that we ordered online: Life Styles Ultra-sensitive Non-lubricated.  Second of all, buying a lubricant whose ingredients are listed, whose list you can trust and whose ingredients do not include my allergens was a challenge.  Again, major thanks to Smitten Kitten.  They helped us look through their many products to find options without propylene glycol.  The winner: Ride - Dude Lube - Water-Based!  It had the least ingredients and none of my allergens  It is obviously not marketed to us what with the dude focus, but to that we say, "Yeehaw!"

I hope this marks the end of sex related content on my blog. I like to keep is family friendly around here, except for the occasional cuss words that make it through  :)
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So here is where the news gets happy! Guess what?!  All of my research and strictness is working!  Here are some before pictures that I took in the summer and some pictures from today.  I am not totally better, but I am so much more comfortable now.

 

I have more to share about the other things I am doing to cope (food, furniture, the outside world!) and the other adjustments (how to get a haircut!) I have made to create safe spaces for myself, but I will save that for another day.  I want to close this enormous post by saying that after having been through all of these ups and downs and having to let go of so much, I truly appreciate and cherish each day that I wake up and have a little bit more of my health back.  I am about to go and do some really average Sunday afternoon activities like cooking, laundry and cleaning and I am so grateful that I have found a way to do it without questioning my every move and potentially making myself sick. Having your health is such a valuable thing!

Bad Doctor

So, to pick up the allergy saga where I left off last week:

The super frustrating part about this experience was how the doctors I saw made my problem worse.  When I first met with a dermatologist in late July, she was really concerned about my natural soap and advised that I switch to this line of "allergen-free" products.  She set me up with samples and encouraged me to make the switch. She also wrote me a prescription for a special shampoo because she thought it might be helpful for me.  I switched to the soap and shampoo she gave me and tested out some of the other stuff.  The other stuff was irritating to me, so I didn't use it for long.  I stuck with the soap and shampoo, though.  Then, I kept getting worse and worse or I would show some improvements for a day or two and then get way worse.

Since things were getting rapidly worse, I went in to see another dermatologist at the beginning of August.  He referred me to the patch clinic, set me up with topical medicine, prescribed a long, tapered course of prednisone and affirmed the other dermatologist's recommendation for the Vanicream products and prescription shampoo.  Right before my patch testing, I became suspicious of the prescription shampoo so I switched to the suggested shampoo and conditioner from the Vanicream line.

It took over 2 months to get into the patch clinic.  I then went through the intensive testing, bringing in my suitcase of products for each of the 3 appointments.  The whole point of the testing process was to determine what products are safe for me to use.  So, on the day where I got my results, the doctor looked through my products and picked out which ones were safe for me to use.  The game plan I was given was to exclusively use those products for 2 months and then have a check-in with my dermatologist.

For the first week, I did just as she said.  Using only the handful of products she had approved.  I got worse and worse and worse.  By the end of the week, I was physically and mentally a mess.  It had been such a long road to get to the patch testing and by all accounts, that was the last stop on my road of options.  If those test results didn't solve my problem, the doctor told me that was all she could do for me.  I was feeling pretty beaten down by the whole ordeal.

After a bit of a breakdown on a dog walk and some kind and supportive words from Paul, I decided to start from scratch (ha! not punny!) and be my own doctor.  I took my test results and all of the products I had been using and scrutinized everything.  What did I find?  What was right there on the label not even hiding under an alias?  PROPYLENE FUCKING GLYCOL!  Right there on the label of the products I was told to use.  Thanks to the instructions from a patch clinic doctor, a supposed contact allergy specialist, I was dousing myself with an allergen every time I washed my hands, took a shower or walked around with my hair on my head...which, as you might guess, was ALL OF THE TIME!

I was so angry and so amazed that the doctor could be so neglectful.  This is her specialty!  I haven't told the patch clinic what happened yet, but I plan to.  I can't let that go.  She needs to do her job.  I thought about saying she needs to do her job "better", but that isn't right since she didn't do her job at all.

I am not as upset with the first two dermatologists I saw as they didn't have the test results to work from.  But, still!  I would have better off if I had kept using my own products.  I was right to have suspected the prescription shampoo as it ended up containing multiple allergens.  No wonder my skin was so angry!

And, from there, I began my own quest to eliminate as many allergens as I can from my products, from my house and from my diet.  It is not proving to be easy.  I feel the need to say here, that I know many people have allergies, some of which are farther reaching and much harder to cope with than mine are.  That said, this still really sucks.  I am at my 2 month mark since my testing and I have yet to find products that don't make me sick.  I am less sick, but I am still irritated and limited by my health.  

Here is the silver lining: 

At least it only took me a week to realize that the doctor steered me wrong.  

I have some concrete test results to drive my changes.

Most of the things I need to remove from my life are bad for people, so everyone in my house will be better off in the end.

I am capable of doing the work it will take to sort through this.

I have access to alternative products.

I have resources to support my needs (at least most of them).

I am a DIYer, so I am not afraid to make my own alternative products.

And, most of all, at least I am not as miserable as I was last summer!

Patch Testing: The Results

I know I am long overdue in posting an update about my health issues.  I keep hoping to find resolution and be able to post a nice, happy post with a little bow on it.  However, it is becoming apparent that there will be no tidy wrap-up anytime soon.  So, I will just let you know where I am with it at the moment.  For those who find reading about the health issues of others a bore, feel free to skip this post!

The upside is that the patch testing gave me some answers!  I am doing far better than I was doing in June through October.  The downside is that my patch test results are hard to implement.  Additionally, I seem to have become highly sensitized to things beyond those on my allergen list.  I am still struggling to find products I can use and ways to navigate the world without getting sick.  But, first thing first!  Let's move on to the results...

For those just tuning in, here are some posts to give you some background:
The onset
The testing

After my week of patch testing, I was given my results in the form of a list and a little blurb about each item.  My results indicated allergic reactions to 10 of the substances in the panels.  Here is a quick and dirty rundown of the culprits:

My reaction to Balsam of Peru confirmed what I had already known: I react to fragrances/perfumes and many cosmetics.  I need to explore more about how this impacts food and drink choices, but for the time being, I am avoiding things that say "natural flavors" in the ingredient list and am careful with the tea I drink. Citrus has always been hard on me, which makes sense in the context of this result, too.

I also found out that I avoid those hand sanitizer liquids and wipes for a good reason: they contain benzalkonium chloride, which I am allergic to! 

Impacting my knitting...I had a mild reaction to 2 of the 4 red dyes (disperse red #17 and disperse red #11) that were tested.  I went over the results with the doctor while I was wearing a red shirt and had been knitting a red sweater all throughout the testing experience, so obviously some things in my wardrobe and yarn stash are going to have to be put aside.  I am hoping this one is temporary as there were 2 red dyes I did not react to.  This might also impact food, but I am not sure of that.

Shellac made an appearance on my list, which is in way more things than I would have ever known.  In addition to its use on wood, it is also called confectioner's glaze for use on candy, pharmaceutical glaze for coating pills and E904 when it waxes fruit. 

I also reacted to Carmine, which is considered a natural way to color cosmetics like blush, mascara and lipstick.  It is also used as a natural color in medicine, food and beverages.  I am currently really thankful for companies that label their ingredients thoroughly instead of using vague ingredients.

I will not be using my standard antibiotic ointment anymore as Bacitracin is also on my list.  Maybe it isn't supposed to itch so much when small cuts and scratches are healing?!  Huh.

These ones are a mouthful: oleamidopropyl dimethylamine and cocamidopropyl betaine.  I list these together because they are cross-reacting, which means if you test as allergic to one, you are supposed to avoid both of them.  These are both used in cosmetics (lotions, shampoos, etc) as emulsifiers. and has, in combination with my other allergens, made finding shampoo and conditioner a nearly impossible task.

These are useful things to know and I likely came into contact with small amounts of these things regularly, but the real lightbulb result was an allergy to propylene glycol.  I had never heard of propylene glycol until I got my results.  I was tested for 2 different concentrations of it and reacted significantly both times.

When I was first given my results I was a bit disappointed because I didn't feel like any of the items on my list could have explained the explosion of health issues I experienced in June.  Well, now that I have done hours and hours of research and reflected on what I have been exposed to this summer, I am pretty sure propylene glycol is the main culprit for the sudden onset of contact allergies and the intensity with which it took over my body.  This chemical is everywhere!

Through my research, I learned that propylene glycol is used in ecigarettes, which I was exposed to a lot this summer.  It is also used to make polyester, polyurethane (foam and waterproofing), various wood sealants, it's in cosmetics (soaps, shampoos, lotions, deodorant, nail polish remover etc), medicine, foods, beverages and many, many more things.  For some of these things it is used in the manufacturing process (like polyester and possibly other synthetic fibers, leather) and would not be evident (or listed) in the final product so I am finding it really hard to get concrete information about what is safe.  I know for sure polyester is an allergy trigger for me.

In the middle of June, we had gone camping with new gear (polyurethane coating on new tent, rain gear and dry bags that held our food and spare clothes, polyester sleeping bags and sleeping pad and potential propylene glycol exposure with the cooking stove fuel) right after visiting my dad (ecig exposure).  The campsite was rustic and didn't have running water so I didn't shower.  I think it was this prolonged, mega exposure from a number of sources that triggered the huge flare up.  Then, I kept getting re-exposed throughout the summer.  If I think back to my roller coaster of near-recovery and then re-flares over the summer, I can match them to propylene glycol exposure.  Finally!  Some answers!

I think I will leave it there for now. I have a lot more to say about propylene glycol, including another (!) enraging story about my medical experience, but I will save that for another day.  Thanks for reading this long post.  You are a trooper!

Patches

This week is an interesting (and uncomfortable) one that I really hope will end with some answers to my ongoing health drama.  It started out Monday morning with a 5.5 hour appointment at the patch testing clinic. I was happy/nervous to be there as I had waited over 2 months for an appointment yet I was pretty certain that it was the start of a difficult week for me.

Per clinic instructions, I had to bring in everything in my house that could have come into contact with my skin over the last 5 months.  I was tempted to bring the cat along, too, but I didn't.

They made up patches using some standard panels and a lot of my own products. A grand total of 210 patches!  The panels include the standard panels, cosmetic ingredients, sunscreen ingredients, steroid ointments, textile dyes, common ointment vehicles and lots of my products.

Then they stuck them on me and put multiple layers of tape over the patches. Typically patches are applied to a patient's back, but since my back is so "involved" (i.e. full of rashes/irritation) they had to use the tops of my thighs as the primary site and then put a few on my back as well.  When the patches and tape were applied, I was sitting down with my legs bent at a 90 degree angle.  When I tried to stand up, I couldn't straighten my legs without it feeling like I was getting a snake bite (that thing where someone twists your skin in 2 different directions and it feels like you are getting burned).  I pointed this out to the women who applied the patches.  She apologized and called it a "learning experience" for her.  She said I was stuck with the current arrangement because removing or re-positioning the tape would mess up the test.

This is the same woman who complained incessantly while she was in my room and especially while applying the patches.  She shared that it had taken so long to prepare my patches (I waited in the room by myself for over an hour, maybe even 2 hours, while they created the patches) because the person she has helping her always screws stuff up.  WAY TO INSTILL CONFIDENCE, LADY!  If I seem particularly disgruntled in this post it is only because I have to stand with the posture of an arthritic 90 year old for 5 days for test results that may be "screwed up."

Oh, and then there is the part where she gave me a passionate lecture about all of the things I am not allowed to do this week including dressing myself or lifting things.  These limitations are because those activities might mess up the patches and my mandated priority this week is to not mess up the patches.  Her lecture would have seemed more earnest had she not immediately left the room, instructing me to get dressed on her way out.  Plus, while she was away she was getting my products from home so that she could return them to me.  At which point, I was expected to re-pack and lift my heavy suitcase.  So, yes, immediately after telling me not to dress myself or lift things, she forced me into a situation where I had to do both.

I am a rule follower by nature and get a little anxious when I break them.  Plus, at this point in the day I was feeling a little loopy.  The cause for loopiness was probably a combination of hunger, having spent over 5 hours in that little exam room (most of the time by myself), and being in the midst of getting used to my snakebite legs and mattress back (more on that in a minute). All of that to explain the feeling that I had, the feeling that after I broke her rules, that she might come back in and yell at me for getting dressed and tell me I failed her test.  I was brave though, I broke those rules and I've done it again since then.  Bam.

And that suitcase?  When they returned my stuff after using it for testing, they hadn't closed the lid on my giant, concentrated, liquid laundry detergent bottle.  So, by the time I opened the suitcase up at home, there was a lake of laundry soap mixed in with all of my stuff and soaked into all of the nooks and crannies of my suitcase.  I think I could rinse that suitcase for hours and more soap would still come out of it.  Fun times.

In case you are wondering, in addition to the regular patches, I have some interesting things attached to my body this week.  Including a snippet of yarn from the project I've been working on throughout the summer/fall.  And, this one is really goofy: I have mattress parts taped to my back.  We need to replace our mattress but I am afraid that whatever new one we buy will end up triggering an allergy and we will have wasted lots and lots of money and have nothing to sleep on. So, the fancy, natural mattress store gave me samples and the doctor cut away parts of the natural latex pad, wool batting and cotton casing fabric and taped them to me for the week. If I don't react, we can finally replace our 13 year old mattress!

In addition to the mattress info, I am really, really hoping to get useful information from the tests.  If I allow myself to really dream big, I hope to identify what caused this whole health spiral to start in June and to find a way to prevent it from ever happening again.  If you have any good mojo to spare, please send it my way this week.  I'll just be here, with my legs bent at a 90 degree angle, trying not to lift anything or change clothes.

More Tales of Woe

My summer bucket list has taken a back seat as I start week 7 of recovering from whatever it was that took me down during my horrible vacation week.  The last month or so has consisted almost entirely of resting/tending to my body, going to doctor appointments, working and doing what is minimally necessary to keep my life going.  In the last month I have visited my primary care doctor, my acupuncturist (numerous times), an allergist and a dermatologist.  I am throwing everything I can at this illness! I am happy to report that I have seen steady improvement over the last week, so I am really hopeful that I am going to be back to my old self very soon.  Today is the first day I have felt vibrant, alive and relatively comfortable in my body in far too long!  It was glorious, productive and extremely restorative.

In addition to my health problems, we also had a scary health situation with Tchazo.  Apparently, I needed to add some more stress to my life because being swollen, covered in rashes and itching like mad 24-7 isn't enough stress!

Two weeks ago, after spending some time in the backyard with us, we noticed Tchazo was acting strangely.  He was falling down a lot, having trouble standing back up on his own and one of his feet was swollen.  We thought he might have gotten it stuck somewhere and hurt it, but it didn't seem broken.  We thought maybe he had encountered a bug/bee, but we couldn't find a sting or a bite.  We decided to let him rest through the night and planned to see what it looked like in the morning before making any decisions.  By the morning, it had swelled to 3 times the size of his other feet and had become red and nasty looking.  Paul took him to the vet, thus beginning what was to be a full week of almost daily vet visits, lots and lots of drugs and tests, a plethora of blood/pus drainage and necrosis.

In the end, the vet was pretty confident that he had been bitten by a poisonous spider.  I didn't even know we had poisonous spiders in Minnesota!

Paul has been an excellent nurse to Tchazo.  Tchazo's foot had a sizable patch of necrosis which the vet had to cut away.  The wound was too large to stitch closed, so Paul was taught how to perform sterile wound care and bandage changes.

I think Tchazo knows Paul is helping him out because he is very patient during the daily bandaging sessions.  We have been taking pictures of his wound to monitor it and make sure there is no infection.  I am sparing you those pictures (and the pictures of my rashes, too!).  So far he is healing on his own, which means we can avoid surgery.  Considering his other health issues, surgery might not have been a viable option for him anyway, so we are really relieved his foot is healing.  There were a few days where his system was so overrun with toxins from the bite that he wasn't moving, drinking, eating or really able to do anything other than lay there in glassy-eyed misery.  I know people always say that cats are the ones with 9 lives but I am starting to think that this dog of ours was blessed with that same quality!

It feel like I have been that person who always seems to have a dramatic story to tell lately.  In addition to the major stories I've shared with you here, there have been some more minor incidences as well.  Like that night last week when I was home by myself trying to fall asleep and heard a strange noise.  When I got up to look outside, I saw a strange man crouching down in my fenced in backyard.  For the record, a call to Paul who was 20-30 minutes away yielded a response time 45 minutes faster than a call to the police did.  Yep, the police took 1 hour and 15 minutes to get here and when they did, they didn't even look around my yard beyond skimming with a flashlight from their car.  After I originally saw Intruder Man, he disappeared, leaving the gate open so I knew I hadn't imagined it.  After about 30 minutes, he came back and was walking around the yard.  When Paul pulled up, Intruder Man walked out of the yard towards the car.  Paul confronted him and questioned him.  His story was that he was "waiting for somebody" and he willingly obliged Paul's aggressive order to vacate the premise.  Good luck resting well after that!

Then, there was that other night where I was having trouble sleeping because I had read a gruesome description of civil war amputations right before trying to fall asleep and it was haunting my dreams.  In my half asleep state of mind, I kept becoming aware of sirens and then drifting out of it again, only to awake to more sirens.  This was the first night in many weeks that we had turned off the air conditioning and I was thinking, "Man!  It is so much louder when we have the windows open.  I don't remember there being this many sirens usually."  That cycle continued for a while longer before I realized that the sirens were all stopping close to our house.  When I got up to look out front, I realized that someone else was having a far worse night than I was.

The street was closed and full of emergency vehicles.  A shop on the block had caught on fire.  The firefighters were using axes to break the windows and saws (for what, I am not sure), which was a surreal thing to see and hear at 1:30 AM and also served as further fuel for my gruesome civil war dreams.

And then, on Paul's birthday, we came home after having been gone all day.  While unlocking the door, we heard Tchazo making non-Tchazo type shrieking barks.  We were freaked out thinking that Tchazo, who was already wounded, had had something else horrible happen to him while we were gone.  It took us a minute to find him once we got inside.  He had managed to lock himself in the bathroom and was totally scared out of his mind.  He must have gone into the bathroom and in the process of turning around, his giant cone must have snagged the door and closed it.  He, having not had bathroom issues since he was a puppy, was so scared that he peed and then managed to knock down everything in the bathroom that wasn't secured into place in his frantic twirling about.  After we cleaned up the mess and calmed him down, we had a laugh about the ridiculousness of this scenario!

I am a frequent listener of The Moth podcast, which ends with a sign-off to the effect of, "May you have a story-worthy week."  After the last few months, I am not sure that is a very nice thing to wish for someone!  At this point, I would cherish a humdrum, uneventful, story-free week!

I've been away from the blog for a while and for the most part, have been laying low, trying to get better.  I have managed a few fun events here and there, so I am going to try to catch up on those posts this week.  Paul had a birthday!  I picked and preserved over 10 pounds of blueberries! I got a new camera!  More to come...sans woes.

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Summer Vacation

I wish I could remember how that book ends.  I'm sure there is a useful lesson in it for me, because my last week was indeed no good.  I've documented a little bit of it here, but needed to give it some distance before fully chronicling the series of events that occurred during what was supposed to be a week of rest, relaxation and fun at the end of a demanding span of time at work and home.  For your enjoyment and my future reference, I shall now tell you the story of my vacation week.  Please do keep in mind that I am able to laugh at it all now.  Also keep in mind that everything will work out OK in the end, but man was this an unfortunate series of events (that was a good book, too!).

Oh, and you might want to grab a snack.  This is a long post.

The week began with us getting stormed out of our much anticipated patio lunch and barred from entry at the lighthouse.  It then quickly proceeded into the breaking-our-dog part of the week, which I fully explained in this post.

What I didn't mention there was that the glorious bask in the sun with our tea on our last morning at camp seems to have set off some sort of horrible reaction in my system.

Partway through the drive home on Tuesday, my eyes and face started to swell up.  I didn't pay it much attention because we were really concerned about Tchazo and I thought it was just a little sunburn.  Well, when I woke up Wednesday morning, my face and eyes were extremely swollen and red and I had rashes on my hands, arms, neck and back.  I've mentioned here before that my skin is really sensitive (eczema and other sensitivities) and a variety of things can set it off, but it usually doesn't get anywhere near this bad.  I tried antihistamines and a variety of other approaches including a visit to the acupuncturist.  My acupuncturist linked that time in the sun with my body's freak out and she is usually pretty right on, so that is the theory I am going with.

In order to give my skin time out of the sun to heal, I had to back out of my fun plans for another rooftop American Craft Council party.  I was really looking forward to the planned Craft Cage Match but being that I looked like I had just come out of a cage match myself and remembering that there was little to no shade on the roof, I knew I needed to skip it.

So, at this point in the week there is me, at home, on "vacation", feeling like crap, looking like crap and not able to be exposed to the sun.  Fun times!  Whenever I am feeling down, I am always pretty quick to recognize that things could be worse.  In this case, it came true!  It got worse!  Let me continue...

I woke up Friday morning still a physical mess but at least my swelling was residing a bit and I was starting to look like myself again.  We had a storm roll through town overnight and when I went out to my alley, I was stunned to see that a very large tree had split at the base and fallen down on a neighbor's garage, taking power lines down with it.

I didn't know trees did that sort of thing!  It seemed like it was a solid, healthy tree.  I guess the winds must have been really, really strong and the tree had some sort of hidden weakness.  We have a really large silver maple tree in our back yard that has proven its weakness in past storms by dropping limbs freely.  I was grateful that our tree had only dropped small limbs in fairly inconsequential locations during the storm.  I was also grateful that we had it pretty aggressively trimmed when we bought the house 4 years ago as I think that has helped it be as strong as a weak tree can be. Anyway, I counted my lucky stars that we didn't have any damage and hoped the neighbor's had good insurance.

By Friday night, I was feeling well enough to go through with my plans.  My sister had taken the night off because there was an outdoor concert we were both interested in seeing.  We invited other friends and had a nice little group of us at the show.  We found a table in a great location under an event tent.  The tent was serving double duty as it provided shade and also was good for the group as we had heard rain was in the forecast.

Sure enough!  The rain started during the first of 3 acts.  At first, it was cute.  The staff were able to squeegee the water off of the stage so the musicians could keep playing.  A few people pulled out their umbrellas and some fun loving souls danced in the rain.

The scene quickly changed when the storm became super aggressive.  In a matter of seconds the innocent rain turned into torrential downpours with winds that threatened to lift up the giant cement blocks that were anchoring down the tent.  We made a run for the nearby parking garage and on the way, a tree branch whipped out in front of Paul, found its way inside his lip and gouged his gums!  Yep.  That really happened.  By the time we got to shelter Paul was REALLY unhappy, his lip was swelling up and his mouth was bleeding.  He wasn't that excited about the show in the first place, was going along to be a good sport and then all of that happened.  When a tree punches you in the mouth, it is easy to get a little cranky.

So, we were in the entrance of the parking garage, watching the torrential rain coming down sideways, the trees bending and whipping around, listening to the emergency sirens wail and witnessing musicians coming in and dumping water out of their guitars.  One girl had a very nice camera that had gotten drenched.  We hope the dry blanket we lent her helped save it!  In the midst all of this Paul says something to the effect of, "Let's just go home."  And, my sister Jessy says something to the effect of, "Are you guys sure this isn't going to pass and they'll be able to finish the show?"  And I am thinking, "This storm is SERIOUS.  I am not going anywhere until it chills out.  This is not one that is just passing through and letting us get on with our evening."

We waited until the winds and rain returned to a non-threatening level and we got in the car to go home.  A few minutes later, we passed our first bad omen:

As we ventured on, we kept encountering flooded streets and having to turn around and zig zag our way home.  The closer we got to our house, the more and more tree damage I saw.  After plowing through some water, our car started to make a bad noise.  "Oh, its just the wet brakes", we told ourselves.  Except the sound was happening when there were no brakes on.  With thoughts of our giant, weak tree (it isn't anything special to our tree, I hear all silver maples have this tendency), we were really anxious to get home and see if our pets and our house were ok.  We figured we'd deal with the car later.

We pulled into the alley, I see such a mess that I have to jump out of the car to clear branches out of the way so we can drive down the alley.  When we get to the tree that had fallen the previous night, we see that it rolled off the garage and smashed a truck.

I then look over to where I can usually see the tallest part of our tree and I see nothing.  Pit. In. Stomach.

We move a little farther down the alley and that is when we see limbs of our tree covering our parking pad and our garage.  Fearing the worst, I get a better look at the house and see that there are lots of limbs around and hanging from wires, but the house seems to be ok.  Big. Exhale.

We reverse out of the alley and park in front of the house because the fallen limbs of our tree are blocking the alley.  When we come up to the front door, we can hear Tchazo barking like a maniac.  Stunned, we head to the backyard not knowing what to do, taking in all of the details.  We notice a heavy limb has crushed our back fence and is resting on it.

limb on fence after we sawed off part of it

We notice the light and motion detector have been smashed clear off of the garage, the roof has branches wedged underneath the shingles and the fascia, gutter apron and siding is banged up.

But, most of all, we notice how those tree limbs rammed into our garage door.

Since we couldn't tell in the dark which lines were power lines and which ones were not, we attempted to call the electric company.  After 30 minutes waiting on hold, we gave up.  We also got the claim going with our insurance company and counted our blessings that we could still be in our home and that we still had functioning utilities.

Even though our house wasn't damaged, besides the gutters, more storms were expected overnight and I wasn't feeling lucky. We moved the car 2 blocks away to where the trees were tiny and freshly planted. We also made the decision not to sleep in bedroom, which is located in range of tree limbs.  With all of the bedrooms being on the second floor, I felt safest sleeping in the living room.  I may have been freaked out enough that I prepared an emergency bag containing: dog leash, dog meds, cat carrier, toiletries, change of clothes, water, wallet and phone.  And, if I am being honest, I threw my knitting project in the bag, too.  What can I say?  It made me feel safer to sleep next to it!  Although, I only slept a few minutes at a time since I felt as if the other shoe might drop at any moment.

We made it through the night!  Breakfast plans with a friend cancelled and evenings plans no longer a priority, we set to work breaking down the tree mess.  Literally with the branches and figuratively with insurance.  Oh yeah, and I was still covered with terrible rashes and trying to avoid the sun.  Yay, vacation!

All it took was a little walk through the neighborhood to realize it could have been so much worse (see me, tempting fate again!).  I only went a block or so in each direction and saw more trees down than I could count.

downed power lines

I also took a stab at fixing the noise the car was making.  The lining in the wheel well had gotten bent and was rubbing the tire.  I muscled it back into place...success!  This might be a coincidence or maybe not, but ever since that night, the control panel on the door seems to be floating, unsecured.  We still have to figure that one out.

So, the icing on this cake that was this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad vacation week was that I was planning to host a Crafternoon gathering on my back deck on Sunday to wrap up what was to have been a wonderful week.  Earlier in the week, our beautiful chairs demonstrated a weakness in their design and had to be brought back to the maker for repairs (not his fault).  At the time I was really bummed out that my fantasy of the event that included my pretty chairs and my friends in them wasn't going to happen and I was going to have to dig out the stupid old folding chairs.  I knew it was silly, but I was a little bummed.  And, then this whole mess with the tree happened and made my chair disappointment seem so silly and small in comparison.

By Sunday, I definitely needed some time with friends and to get the heck away from my house.  We moved our gathering to a nearby cafe that had power (so many residences and businesses in the Twin Cities area didn't have power for days).  It was a great stress reliever to laugh with friends about how ridiculous my week had been.  I think I carried my luck (or lack thereof) with me to the gathering, though.  Our waiter kept taking our order and then a really long time later coming by and apologizing for not having taken our order yet and letting us know he would be back to get our order soon.  He did that more than once!

Now that I have had a little more distance from the week, I am mulling it over looking for the silver lining and the lessons I might find in this.  Since you've made it this far into my insanely long story of my week, I don't think you'll mind if I get a little more share-y than usual.  I have been struggling with perfectionism lately, feeling like it is guiding what I do and how I do it in an unhealthy way.  It is causing me to carry stress that is totally unnecessary and rather pointless.  I've also developed more of a worrying habit than I would like. I am realizing that this is diverting my energy from where it could be better spent. 

So if I were to try to make sense of all of this crap, I could find the messages pretty easily.  What I think this week told me, in no subtle way, is that I ultimately have very little to NO control over my world.  It is telling me to let go and just roll with it.  Preparing and planning are ok to some degree, but in the end it'll all probably work out differently than I planned and I may or may not be prepared for the outcome.  If I can accept that, I don't need to spend nearly as much of my time and energy in the way that I have been.  I have received the message that trying to make everything perfect and/or worrying about stuff too much gets you a rash covered body, a husband with a wounded mouth and a garage that was beat up by a tree.

But, you know what?  Even though this week brought me to that crazy place where I could laugh and cry at the same time, I never lost sight of the good stuff that was sprinkled in there, too.  That hike was beautiful.  I read a great book.  My friends and family were quick to offer help. Paul and I know how to support each other when the shit hits the fan.   I met more of my neighbors.  We now have a lot of firewood.  We have savings we can draw from to help us through this and insurance.  I am thankful.

So, Universe, I appreciate the lessons and I will work on what you've taught me.  Now, please go help somebody else because I have had enough.