Friday, June 8, 2007

Complain, complain, complain

I don't like to use this space to be a complainer but I can't hold back today. I am one big ball of stressed out me. I am normally fine (ok, stressed but in a coping, positive way) when major things in my life are changing. Since leaving my previous career, there have been a series of rapidly changing situations for me. Getting through grad school while taking advantage of various ways to gain experience and earn money has been the story of my life for the last 3 years. Throughout periods of high stress and uncertainty, I've been ok.

That brings me to where I am now. I am craving some stability, some status quo, of sorts, to savor. Please, give me some routine so I can decompress and not worry about what next, what next, what next. Nope. Not time for that yet, apparently.

I finished my graduate program and am now coming upon the impending end date to my current job. Add to that the fact that our landlord decided that our rent will be $150 more a month than we are currently paying if we want to stay in our apartment. That is highway robbery! Besides the pain of having to move, the drawback is that this is the first time in my grown-up life that I have ever lived in a place for more than a year. We are finally settled in and content and really fond of our apartment and our neighborhood. Things are hanging on the wall. Everything has a place. My garden is here. In short, I am just fine right here. Please leave me alone, Mr. Landlord.

So, not only do I not know how I am going to support myself, I don't know where I am going to live. Now, to be fair, I know that I will work it all is no big deal in the grand scheme of least I have my could be so much worse.....yadda yadda yadda. I KNOW! I am just in a stressed out, want things to be settled, how about some stability please, sort of mindset today.

Phew. Thanks for listening. I'll stop complaining now. In fact, I think I need a nap or maybe some sock knitting time.

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